Homophobia is gay

Newsflash: You can still love your man and be manly. But you would think that’s a taboo in the black community. Where masculinity plays such a pivotal role in how we chose our friends. Recently I was tagged in photographs in West Hollywood and within hours I had people texting me asking if I still liked women. Like being around my friends who were homosexual would affect my sexual preference or seduce me into changing preferences like I do pajamas.

One friend asked me “Are you comfortable in your own skin?” Well I could trim up around my waste, add some muscle to my legs, and even turn the hands of time back so my hairline wouldn’t be so thin in the front. But when it comes to being around people who are different than me, I couldn’t be more comfortable. In fact, maybe I’m too comfortable. I’m too tired after my 9-5 to work another shift with a double life.

Maybe my most redeeming quality is that I treat people how I want to be treated. Above all the lessons my grandmother taught me, that was my favorite. So many gays are made to feel worthless by cruel and relentless people. I chose a long time ago I would leave people better than how I found them. One of my friends interviewed me the other day for his magazine ‘How does it feel to be heterosexual with such a strong connection to the LGBT community.’ An honor.

It’s been such a stigma growing up that birds of a feather stick together. So if I surround myself with one group of people I must be a part of that lifestyle. But my company always varies. I spend my time with atheists, does that mean I don’t believe in GOD anymore? I hang around people without college degrees. Does that make mine obsolete? I have friends who are deaf. Does that impair my hearing? I like to be around white people, does that make me less black? I even associate with strippers, does that mean you’re gonna see me sliding down a pole at spearmint rhino?

It just so happens I love being around my gay friends because they know how to have fun. And I don’t feel like I need to apologize for my mannerisms. I can sing lyrics to lady gaga and not worry about what they think of me. I can wear a floral top and not have to explain why I chose that. The simple fact that I can be myself apologetically is something we all yearn for, it just so happens with one group of people it comes that much more naturally.

I remember crying in the arms of my best friend once as he held me in college. Didn’t have to ask him to keep it a secret. I recall having sleep overs and letting my guy friends come over as we played video games all night. Wasn’t worried about what kids said on the playground. You think now if I go to a gay bar and dance my ass off I’m worried about what someone will think on facebook?

Being gay is not a crime. And I personally don’t believe it’s a sin. I won’t use GOD to justify prejudice. You wouldn’t believe how many women I’ve met who upon getting to know me confess, “I always thought you were gay.” Maybe it was my colored contacts. Or when I use to get my eyebrows threaded. Probably even when I was Prince for Halloween a few years back. Or maybe because most of the good men these days are gay, you were under the impression I batted for the other team too? How happy they are when they learn how I swing.

I wish I could tell you how liberating it is to choose your friends based off what you have in common instead of what public perception is. I wouldn’t be surprised if all my groomsmen were homosexual down the line. Would that make my wedding less traditional? I have one in particular that will probably be my children’s godfather. Am I worried about my son’s impressionable mind? Absolutely not. You clearly must not have any idea who the father is. I will not be pigeon holed by members of society. Caged without the ability to be free without labels.

I can go anywhere with anyone and be completely comfortable. I had dinner tonight with one of my best friends who couldn’t keep his eyes off the male server. Did that make my time at cheesecake factory any less enjoyable? On the contrary, that much more. To know me is to love me. To question me because you don’t know yourself is a completely different story for a completely different blog. You’re not scared to be around people different, you’re just an asshole. And love always wins. Homophobia is gay.